Friday, January 15, 2010

The First of Many

A lot of things go through a person's mind at my age. Most of the time is silly things such as, "Does he like me?" or, "Why can't I think of that stupid answer for the test?!" or possibly, "Why does everybody have more fun than me?" But you know what? For me those thoughts do show up in my mind but they are few and far between. Now I'm not going to say at which stage of my life I'm in but I'm pretty sure you could already take a whack at it and be pretty accurate given the first question; the strangest part about me is what I actually find myself thinking about. This year is supposed to be the best year of my life thus far, and it is not. I've definitely learned a cornucopia of lessons I would have rather not learned and have found myself more lonely than I can ever recall being. But you know, I have never been one to dream of a huge school dance and who would whisk me away to it while I am adorned in the most perfect dress and with the most perfect boy (there I go again revealing my age!), or attempting to impress some guy that doesn't know who I am or what I stand for. I especially don't waste my time on people that don't appreciate my worth as a person. I do not appreciate those that undermine someone else's success because they are afraid of their own insecurities sustaining themselves. It's those kind of people that become the politicians and leaders of tomorrow. Scary, right? I think John Lennon presented a beautiful ideal when he begged for us to just, "give peace a chance."
I am not claiming to be some sort of saint of tree hugger- although my mom would beg to differ on the latter- but I am claiming to be a lover of peace. A lover of happiness. A lover of love. My prospects may seem so outlandish and bootless but let's face it, somebody has to promote the idea that peace, love, and happiness are tangible even today. Yes I guess you could write off my "hippie" beliefs as insipid or misinformed but then again, you could also just give them a chance. The whole rally in front of government buildings and other establishments is not my thing though. I would probably only go as far as making a poster or two for a rally if I believed in the cause strong enough. No, that's not the way I state my passion for something. I write and spread the word. I believe that if you get the youth on your side there is nothing you cannot do.
As you can clearly tell, I am not your average "kid". My thoughts and desires are very, well, different which makes my life pretty difficult at my age as a result of there being very few people who share my ambitions. I want to help others, I don't care if I am never rich in the future, I have this aching desire to be something more than who I am at the moment. I don't want to wake up one day and find that I have let my precious years go by wasted.
I hope that this entry has some type of continuity factor within it... And hey, if you found my writing even the slightest bit interesting you can wait for my next post to read whatever else I come up with to blather about! Sounds awesome to me!

1 comment:

  1. You are awesome! I love this. I am proud to be your mom. I love you.