Today Was a Fairytale

So today is Valentine's Day... a day that I actually enjoy reguardless of the fact that I have been single for every single one for every year of my life.

Now, my peers seem to enjoy calling February 14th "Single's Awareness Day," but you know what? I don't need a day of the to remind me that I'm single. I have every weekday from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m. to remind me of that. In other words: high school. In my opinion, all of those relationships are silly and fleeting. It's almost too much for me some days.

Picture this: You and the other nerd next to you in the hallway are rushing to economics class because you only have five minutes to get there before the door is slammed in your face and you have to drudge down to the office even to get a tardy pass even though you legitimately want to be in class. As you are power walking your way to your next class as you have been trained to do since middle school, a road block appears. That road block? A couple shamelessly eating each other's faces off. What the heck? Can you say, "Get a room?" And when you try to go around them, you find that the only way around them is inevitably through them. Gosh darn it. So you play a small game of extreme Red Rover and break the bonds of love in order to get to the class that your parent's tax money so kindly payed for. As the couple proceeds to cuss you out, you must keep walking and avoid eye contact even though eye contact will not result in an altercation.

This is procedure is practiced almost every day. Why? Because as the movie "Valentine's Day" so eloquently put it: "High school life: prominent with love, ignorant of reality."

Such a toxic and mildly depressing environment. Although it's all so clearly juvenile, one sometimes gets the feeling that there is something wrong with them if they aren't romantically involved with someone. I think that it's worth it to wait. It saves you all of the heartache and effort.

Of coarse I recognize that no teenager will head my advice but that's all part of growing up. Sometimes you have to have the crap kicked out of you (metaphorically) for you to actually learn your lesson. I am actually very glad that I had the crap kicked out of me because I really admire the person I am today... not to be vain or anything.

To sum it all up, I will end with one of my favorite things: an esoteric quote!

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
~Leo F. Buscaglia

The First of Many

A lot of things go through a person's mind at my age. Most of the time is silly things such as, "Does he like me?" or, "Why can't I think of that stupid answer for the test?!" or possibly, "Why does everybody have more fun than me?" But you know what? For me those thoughts do show up in my mind but they are few and far between. Now I'm not going to say at which stage of my life I'm in but I'm pretty sure you could already take a whack at it and be pretty accurate given the first question; the strangest part about me is what I actually find myself thinking about. This year is supposed to be the best year of my life thus far, and it is not. I've definitely learned a cornucopia of lessons I would have rather not learned and have found myself more lonely than I can ever recall being. But you know, I have never been one to dream of a huge school dance and who would whisk me away to it while I am adorned in the most perfect dress and with the most perfect boy (there I go again revealing my age!), or attempting to impress some guy that doesn't know who I am or what I stand for. I especially don't waste my time on people that don't appreciate my worth as a person. I do not appreciate those that undermine someone else's success because they are afraid of their own insecurities sustaining themselves. It's those kind of people that become the politicians and leaders of tomorrow. Scary, right? I think John Lennon presented a beautiful ideal when he begged for us to just, "give peace a chance."

I am not claiming to be some sort of saint of tree hugger- although my mom would beg to differ on the latter- but I am claiming to be a lover of peace. A lover of happiness. A lover of love. My prospects may seem so outlandish and bootless but let's face it, somebody has to promote the idea that peace, love, and happiness are tangible even today. Yes I guess you could write off my "hippie" beliefs as insipid or misinformed but then again, you could also just give them a chance. The whole rally in front of government buildings and other establishments is not my thing though. I would probably only go as far as making a poster or two for a rally if I believed in the cause strong enough. No, that's not the way I state my passion for something. I write and spread the word. I believe that if you get the youth on your side there is nothing you cannot do.

As you can clearly tell, I am not your average "kid". My thoughts and desires are very, well, different which makes my life pretty difficult at my age as a result of there being very few people who share my ambitions. I want to help others, I don't care if I am never rich in the future, I have this aching desire to be something more than who I am at the moment. I don't want to wake up one day and find that I have let my precious years go by wasted.

I hope that this entry has some type of continuity factor within it... And hey, if you found my writing even the slightest bit interesting you can wait for my next post to read whatever else I come up with to blather about! Sounds awesome to me!